i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
