Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Randomize
