maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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