so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Randomize
