He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
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