I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
