what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
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