I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
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