I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
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