I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
I think your dad took our porno
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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