i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
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