I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Randomize
