you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
Randomize
