But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
