Rock
Scissors
Fuck
end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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