Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
