Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
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