Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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