I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
