ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
