R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
We're using joints as your birthday candles
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Randomize
