So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
