I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
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