He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
Randomize
