I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize
