I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
