he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
