He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Randomize
