i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
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