Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
