me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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