why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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