Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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