After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize
