Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
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