SEEEEXXX PLEASE
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
he puts the penis in happiness.
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize
