If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
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