I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
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