and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
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