She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize
