If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Randomize
