I'm going to rape someone's good day.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
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