Me. At least after what I've been through.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
Randomize
