I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
