We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
