Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
I smell stomach acid.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
i think im in europe. pls send help
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
