Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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