I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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