you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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