I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
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