i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity�
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
