Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Pappa wants mamma naked
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Randomize
